Tuesday, March 13, 2012

fat cats and their perches

"Awww, don't call her fat." That is what Sarah's friend said. I think she was trying to be sympathetic to me, as if my feelings would be hurt because Sarah called me a big fat cat.


There is no better way to describe me! I like my food. I like my treats. I am a big, fat cat. Period!

And let me tell you something else. Big fat cats need big, fat litter boxes. It has taken me a long time to explain this to Sarah. I think she is finally getting the hang of it.

Now, there are two words I used here. Let me explain. Big, and fat. Not just one or the other. There are big cats and little fat cats. I am a big, fat cat. Sarah learned her lesson when she tried to turn my litter box sideways. She thought it would accommodate my fatness.

Well, it was not my fatness that needed to be accommodated. It was my bigness that needed to be accommodated. I needed room to, ya know, be in the box. Big cats are long cats. Big skinny cats have the same problems. They like longways boxes. Are we communicating yet? Your big cats may thank me. Oh, one more thing: they like lots of litter, more than you give those little dainty cats.

Remember: it is not politically incorrect to call a fat cat a fat cat--unless, of course, you're trying to talk about money grubbing businesspeople. In that case you should probably keep your mouth shut.